Sunday, January 29, 2006

Bumps and burns

Last night I was exhausted! Himself and I were supposed to go out to see a movie, and I totally bailed, wanting nothing but my ugly comfy pants, a pillow and my mother. Nothing like being a total baby when you're feeling run down. While I was making dinner I started the microwave, and then realized, after it started making all sorts of zapping noises, I forgot to put the food inside.

So we decided instead of going out we would order a pay per view movie. Feeling guilty about ruining our fun night out just because I was tired, I settled in on the couch to watch the 40 Year Old Virgin, hoping after all my lobbying to stay in I wouldn't fall asleep right there on the couch. Again.

About ten minutes into the movie my elbow got itchy. After scratching for about a moment, I asked Himself, "What's on my elbow?" His reply: "Oh my God, you've broken out in hives."

They were all up my arm and on my leg. Not long after, the 17 "mosquito bites" I received on the top of my left hand on our last night in Nicaragua puffed up and became super itchy again!

Thank goodness for the Infoweb. Himself calmly rushed to the computer and Googled "hives". Turns out there's nothing to worry about. Only, I can't help but worrying anyhow.

It just so happens I have a check up tomorrow, so I'm going to show my doctor the bumps and see if she freaks. If she does, that gives me permission to do the same. If not, well, I'll take some anti-histamine and not leave the house for fear of frightening dogs and making children run away screaming, "Ew, Mommy, what's wrong with that woman?!"

By the way, when did children start calling me "woman"? It's very disturbing that I'm getting that old. Friday night I fell asleep on the couch instead of going out to a lounge with my friends. Last night I blew off movies (granted, there's something seriously wrong with me -- maybe...) but I remember days when I could be missing an arm and still go out.

*sigh* I was always warned this day would come. I'd much rather spend my Saturday night writing, editing and mopping my floor than going out to some bimbo-filled club with 12 year old girls grinding against each other to catch the interest of ugly, annoying Shawn Desmond wannabees dry-humping barstools.

I mean, come on. Who would want to be like Shawn Desmond anyhow? He's totally lame, can't sing and has stupid hair. AND he's afraid of red-heads. A therapist would have a hayday with this closet necrophiliac. I mean, come on! Listen to one chorus of his songs and you just know he's so desperate for any kind of sex he would totally get it on with dead people. I'm not even linking to that loser because then you'll click on his website, thereby giving the impression his popularity has increased. If that happens, he'll never go away. This Canadian apologizes to the world for the horny little pre-pubescent boy wailing on your radios. That's most certainly NOT how we rock it in the T - dot. Trust me. AND anyone who actually knows how things are "rocked" in the T-dot would never be pathetic enough to call it the T-dot.

*whew* where did that come from? Aparently my usual self is consumed with battling the hives, giving my inner bitch centre stage.

Anyhow, back to normalcy. So, this morning (afternoon - I woke up, went to get a bagel, ate it, realized I was tired again and Himself and I went back to bed... he's still there...) I tried to make coffee as Javier's grandmother makes. I came pretty darn close (need more milk in my cafe con leche) so I'm keeping the method a secret, but let's just say I burned my hand pretty badly when I tried to pour the coffee from the pot into my cup.

Yeah, that hand with the hives.

It was everything I could do to keep my blue streak of curses to a whisper so himself wouldn't wake up.

Today I have big plans for finishing my Wizarding mystery game and doing some more polishing of Mending Resolute. Also, I may be in need of a reliable artist in the near future here, so if you happen to be an artist, please email me some samples... I profit share! I stress the word RELIABLE.

Here's me in front of a volcano. This is actually a lake behind me, which is home to a very unique kind of shark that can survive in both fresh and salt water.

Friday, January 27, 2006


I freaked at work today.


I hung up on this horrible customer and then stormed out. I got to the car before my mind cleared and I remembered...

Bills. Heat. Car insurance. Food. Oil of Olay soap.

And so, after sucking back a smoke, I slunked back into work. Fortunately, no one had even noticed I left.

By the end of the day I was in a better mood. During downtime I worked on my new murder mystery, which I totally enjoy. On the way out of work, I stopped to chat with a friend of mine.

There is just something about him that just soothes me. Our conversations always begin the same way. "Hey!" "Hey! How's it going?" And end with me leaving, no matter how bad my world is, with a happy little grin on my face. He says the most profound things. Today, somehow, we got on the topic of how in the afterlife we will get to see the truths of our lives as though a movie and will be able to see, as though an observer, the mistakes we made as well as the things we did right.

All that, plus more, in a mere seven minutes.

Then, when I got home things just got better. I received an email from Abraham from Guisiliapa telling me not to be sad and that they remember us and will not forget us. *sigh*

I sent off my second query today, kissed it and put it in the mailbox beside the last one I sent it from. Can't be too careful. It could have been the mailbox that caused the rejection!

Okay, let's see if Blogger will let me upload some pictures!

Now, I'm sure some are wondering where exactly Guisiliapa is. Well, thanks to Javier's finger, you now know...

Here's my jungle Leigh picture - me outside Javier's family's casa. His mother's garden is so pretty.

Okay, one more.

This is looking up the road toward Krystal and Javier's house. The green car is a taxi! And at the veeeeeery end of this road is some really scary shit. I have pictures. But those are for another blog.

Happy weekend, everyone!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

What is this garbage in my coffee cup?

Well, it's official. I'm back. Mna.

The reality of being home hit me in the form of a bad cup of coffee this morning. The same coffee I once adored.

I woke up this morning, checked the floor for cochroaches, slipped into my sandals and emerged Krystal and Javier's new house, walking down the dirt road to Javier's parents' place. As I approached, I waved at the people staring at me, some having never before seen a white person. I waved to them and shouted, "Ola, commo estas?" and they smiled and replied, "Bien, es tu?" What else could I reply but "Moy bien, gracias."

As I approached their casa, Javier's sweet little grandmother emerged her own house (next door to my destination) and handed me a cup of the most incredible coffee.

And I know coffee.

I cradled the short brown mug in my hands and savoured the aroma for a moment before sipping, as I do with a delicate single malt whiskey.

Then, the moment arrives - the moment I've been anticipating since the barking dogs and crowing roosters pulled me from my sleep. I take a sip.

And gag. The scene disolves and I realize I'm no longer in Guisquiliapa, but back in my apartment in Calgary. The sandles I slipped on were actually my slippers, the barking dogs and crowing roosters were actually passing cars and beeping construction vehicles. The dirt road was my hallway, desperately in need of sweeping. Javier's grandmother was actually my mini coffee pot.

Enter the post-traveling blues.

I've just finished uploading the almost three hundred photos I took over the last six days. God I love digital. Aside from being all but anally probed in Houston on the way back (I'm not STAYING in the US, I'm just passing through the airport to catch a connecting flight which I've now missed because you took so @!#$ing long adjusting your rubber gloves!) the trip was wonderful. Next time we'll fly through Costa Rica. And everyone warned me about the Nicaraguan immigration. @!#$ whatever. Sorry American friends... I'm not exactly impressed with Homeland Security right now, who turned four Canadian citizens' six hour return flight into an 18 hour ordeal while refusing to tell us while we were being held (which, I believe, is a human rights violation, but I'm no expert...) and separating us. Bastards. We still don't know why we were being held.

I'll post a bunch of pictures over the next few days, as well as some more Nicaraguan tidbits. Here's one... Blogger won't let me do any more today for some reason.

This is me in front of the sign at the entrance to Guisquiliapa, where we stayed, where Javier's family lives and where Krystal and Javier bought the house.
When we returned home last night, I checked the mail to find my SASE from my first query submission. Naturally, it was a rejection. I'm actually quite happy about it. They were quick to reply, which means I can now try somewhere else, rather than sitting around up to six months just to get rejected. Besides, it's not like I really expected my first query to lead to a book deal for Mending Resolute. Well, maybe a little tiny part of me - that unrealistic part of my brain that still believes world peace is possible.

I have to unpack, clean the apartment and pick up my drycleaning. It's not really that cold here - very warm for the end of January in Canada, but it's still too freakin' cold compared to Central America.

Oh well, at least I still have my sunburn and bug bites, which I adore right now as much as the bamboo bracelet Javier's mom gave me as a welcome present.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Type softly... everyone is sleeping.

Well, in three hours we leave for the airport to Nicaragua. My cousin Krystal and her boyfriend, Javier, came in from Medicine Hat and we are all staying at my Mom's place tonight.

I have elected to stay up, since I've recently taken a few non-drowsy decongestants to combat plane pain. So as not to get too comfortable, Krystal, Javier and Himself are sleeping in the living room, mere feet from where I am typing. The combined breathing of the three is about as relaxing as ocean waves, but I must stay awake. Just in case.

I can hardly believe that at this time tomorrow we will be in Central America. I can't wait. I'm taking two books with me - the first The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, as recommended by a co-worker and book guru, Raine. The second is Shopaholic and Sister, the only Shopaholic book I haven't yet read. I've been waiting for the perfect time.

I plan on letting my muse run amuck, which basically means I haven't set any writing goals for the time I'm gone. I have many ideas for shorts, murder mysteries and, of course, more for Linde, but I'm not setting out a strict writing itinerary like I usually do. This is, after all, a vacation, even though my idea of bliss usually involves a pen and a notebook.

According to the polls, when I return we will have a new Prime Minister. Hm.

Krystal said internet cafes are abundant where we're headed, so I will try to blog somewhere along the line. We have lots planned: A canopy tour, in which you're harnessed onto a cable that spans the tops of trees and slide through valleys; a wedding (not mine! I swear!); a visit to a volcano. Is there anything better in life than exploring the world?

Monday, January 16, 2006

Yo Hablo Espanol!

Well, sort of. Whether I hablo Espanol or not, I'm off to Nicaragua in 44.5 hours! The countdown begins. I'm also trying to get tomorrow off work, since I'm running so behind! Today I must fulfill my duty as a Canadian and go pre-vote. Who am I voting for you ask? NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! heh heh.

Just one pic today, I'm afraid. I think I overloaded you all yesterday!

Okay, left to right - Me, JP (AKA Crazy Frenchman driver), Sunny and Tara. Despite appearances, JP is not a fashion tragedy. We were all required to wear those hideous vests. As you can see, we rarely complied. Does anyone actually look good in flourescent orange?

And I have to give MJ a formal, public apology. I'm sorry for stealing a page from your colouring book. I will bring it back today. I promise. Please don't tell on me.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Mik's quote, pics, pics and more pics

This post will contain almost no words. Except those necessary. It's the weekend, after all, and what little brain power I do have is going into editing Mending Resolute.

Welcome visitors from Awful Souls. Please leave me a comment and let me know you were here. The more comments, the bigger Christa's thank you gift will be! hehe.

First off, I'd like to share the best PG-13 curse I've ever seen. It's from an Archie comic book I was reading at work (because I work so damn hard). I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to future readers of this Archie comic. Since I ripped this page out to bring it to blogland, they will begin reading a story and not know what the %$&* is going on.

MJ bought a colouring book and brought it to work. I was flipping through, laughing at the drug references ie: the kids eat the mushrooms and then fly to faerieland for a wild party (They want to ban Brokeback Mountain but not this colouring book. Go figure...) when I found this. I had to paste the poem underneath separate or it would have been too small. It reads:

"From Ireland come the leprechaun and the shee. They are as funny as funny can be."

Now tell me if this guy looks like any sort of fun to you.

And finally, the Halifax pics of the day. (I told you there would be no words today!)

On the left we have Tara. I'm sitting in the back, John is on the automan and Sunny is on the right. We went out that night and shook are bums. Maybe those pics will appear. Maybe they won't. Ha! Okay, one more. Did I mention John is AMAZING with the camera? Here's what he did shortly after this pic was taken.

2 days until Nicaragua! (Not including today, of course...) Himself and I got our needles today, and they were so well done, we hardly felt a thing! (Thanks to my Aunt Nancy, who is so skilled with a syringe)

And stolen from the drawers in Voodoo's Room, I am reposting this great quote from Mik. For those who don't know her, she's my superpowered writing partner in Texas, and if it weren't for her, I can guarantee you I would not be writing today. She helped me when I was just "inspiredgirl", too nervous to even post my real name with my writing. Here's what she wrote:

There’s something to be said for being with a powerful man… He can take care of sh** for you. Some nasty dude hits on you? He’ll just use the Force to get rid of him… I dig that.

Ha! You're hilarious, girl. If anyone would like to know what the hell she was talking about, you'll have to go to Voodoo's Room (but don't forget to knock first).

Friday, January 13, 2006

You might be obsessive compulsive if...

It's FRIDAY! WOOOOHOOOO! I thought this day would never come. Has ever a week dragged more than this one? I think not. For some good old-fashioned anti-work fun, click here.

6 days to Nicaragua! HURRAHHHHH!

Last night I came to a startling realization. Every day I do EXACTLY the same thing! I get up at 10, whether I want to or not. I stumble out to the living room and turn on the computer. While it's booting up, I start the coffee brewing. Pick my profile and then wash my face. Stumble back to the computer and check my email, Mik's blog, Voodoo's blog, Colin's blog, MJ's blog. In that order. Then I pull up blogexplosion and in between editing paragraphs I surf for credits.

At precisely 11:15 I start slowly getting ready for work. I put my make up on in the exact same order each day. At precisely 12:15 I leave for work, 45 minutes before I have to get there. I always leave a 15 minute cushion in case of traffic. I plan my route before I leave the apartment, avoiding as many left-hand turns at uncontrolled intersections as possible.

I go to work. I try to forget I went to work. On the way home I flick my cigarette out the window (don't hate me!) at the exact same spot - the exit from Deerfoot Trail onto Memorial Drive. Then, I obsessively scan the back seat in the rearview, just in case the cigarette came back in the window, and keep checking the mirror to ensure there was no cop behind me to witness my crime.

I get home. I check my email. I watch back-to-back Frasiers and then The Wrong Coast. After The Wrong Coast, Himself goes to bed and I pop out onto the balcony for a cigarette and to read my book. Then I come in, turn off the lights, close all the cupboard doors in the kitchen and ensure twice the door is locked. I have a shower, during which my regime is militant: shampoo in, wash face while shampoo rinsing out as it conserves time. Then, I read for 30 minutes and it's lights out.

I do not EVER stray from this routine. So, I started to think about it last night, just playfully like. "Wow, I do the EXACT same thing every day..." And all of a sudden it hit me! I turn the coffee pot off three times, just so on the way to work I will remember it's off for sure and not race home, thinking I'm going to burn down the building. If I am not out the door by EXACTLY 12:15, I have a mini-panic attack and my heart starts to race. I'm a total germ phobe and refuse to open bathroom doors without my hands covered; I kick the flushy thing to flush the toilet. Could I be, in addition to everything else, a bit obsessive compulsive?

Today I tried to mix things up a bit. I got up at 9:30 insted of 10 and did 30 minutes of yoga and then studied Zen philosophy for 15 minutes by candle light. I checked the blogs in the reverse order. And here's the really weird one (that totally killed me for more than one reason...) instead of editing, I paid bills!

Now THAT is out of the ordinary for me. Just ask Telus - I'm no bill payer! I like to pay my bills quarterly, even when I'm on monthly billing. So, instead of writing this morning, I paid stupid bills. And I've forgotten to do half the things I normally do - simple things like putting on moisturizer. This routine mix-up has also thrown off my appetite, and I can hardly swallow my raisin bagel with cream cheese. I miss my routine, but fear ending up in a straight jacket in a padded cell, although I've always thought it might be fun to run around in one of those rooms for an hour or so, like those air-filled jumping apparatusususussss (say that when you're 12 beer in the hole...) so popular at children's birthdays.

Below are some more pics from Hali. I really have to go. Thanks to my new non-routine, I have 20 minutes until I must walk out the door and my hair is still in a towel...

Denise and me displaying our super fighting skills. Strangely, no one is frightened....

And then we turned on John. I'm still not really certain he deserved it...

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Pictures from Smelly fax and New Music Needed!

Last night a good friend of mine, John, sent me some pictures from our 5-week work excursion in Halifax. And so, since they are hilarious, I've decided to dedicate the next 7 days to the Halifax Picture of the Day. I must warn you, most of them are us goofing around on Sunny's balcony while smoking, so anyone easily offended with smoking, violence or balconies, viewer discretion is advised.

This is me after the gym. Yup. Smoking. After the gym.

In the back is me, doing my best "fierce" look, which always ends up appearing like my pigtail elastics are too tight. Denise comes next. Sunny is in the brown hat and last but not least is John, who is not only hot, but also an incredible singer. Maybe if I beg he'll let me post something of his here.

But today you're in for an extra treat! Poetry!! No wait, don't go! It's not mine! I swear! It was written by a friend of mine named Fern who also gets creative when mind-numbingly bored at work.


you wake up one morning
to find things have changed
nothing is in it's proper place
things are rearranged

Your face is wrinkled and sagging
Your bum is doing the same
Your boobs are reaching the stomach
Now who can we blame

You look in the mirror and sigh
where did the time go
Just last week it seems
that you had the childhood glow

you have no choice but to accept
the truth as it lays in front of you
you have the choice to make life happy
or to make life blue

Happy seems the way to go
it makes it easier on everyone
it makes it easier on yourself
because nothing can be done

I'm in desperate need for new music that isn't mainstream Britany Spears media-pushed garbage. Sooooooooo, if you know of a band who is maybe lesser known I can check out, please post them in comments. I believe many bands don't get enough play, so we all have to keep each other in the loop. Here are a few of mine:

Armchair Cynics


Maria Mena

Kathleen Edwards (Check out the video for Hockey Skates)

and of course, my Mending Resolute soundtrack and lord of my Linde-kicking-ass inspiration, Matt Good

In other news, I picked up some instant coffee last night. Hence the higher quality post. I swear, as blog as my witness, I will never run out of coffee again. Y'all are safe from another nonsensical post. Well... maybe not.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Hurry Up Weekend!

How on earth is this possible? It's really, truly only Thursday? No, wait - Ak! It's only WEDNESDAY! For the love of the cherubs and all things holy, will this week ever end??

And to top it all off, I have no coffee. I'm all out. But without my coffee I don't have the energy to go anywhere, so I can't get any coffee. And ironically, when I turned on my media player on shuffle this morning, the first song to come on was Evanescence's "Bring me to Life." *sob* I miss coffee!

I guess I have a few reasons to be anxious for this weekend. First, season 2 of Corner Gas is sitting here waiting to be watched. Second, next week I'm going to Nicaragua and I have to go shopping (I know, I know, my life is soooooo tough! hehe) and third, no work for 2 blissful days.

Right now I'm putting together my second query letter for Heaven which, for those who don't know (which I believe is everyone practically but Mom and Mik) is chic lit. The best sentence I've come up with so far is, "Anna owns a dog." *vomiting pukey noises*

That's it? That's all I have to say? Hey! Don't look so shocked! I can be quiet sometimes!

Currently reading:

But I haven't made up my mind yet...

All right, I'm going to go see if I can squeeze a cup out of yesterday's grounds. I want coffee sooooooooo badly!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Croaking from my rented lilypad

Woohoo! I'm renting a lilypad in the pond in Faerie Lake in the Enchanted Forest!

One of my favourite Blogmarks is Pond Perspective by Ribbiticus. To my delight, she has accepted me as her new tenant, so for one fun-filled week my thumbnail will display to Faerie Lake's visitors. Quite the honour! Before I even knew she had accepted my bid, I already had a bunch of posts from her readers. So, if you're here from the pond, thanks for stopping by. My readers can visit the lilypad at

Also, thanks to an anonymous someone from the That Poor Kid post, here's another good laugh. . There must be something about this song that makes people want to act like weirdos, because here's another one.
But I have to warn you, like that stupid Black Eyed Peas song, "my Hump" or "my lump" or "my rump" or whatever (recently voted worst song of 2005, by the way), this song will become lodged in your brain.

Last night was my work gala, the politically correct version of a Christmas Party. I got to wear The Dress, so I was happy. Only, I needed shoes. I love that phrase. "I need shoes." The word "need" eliminates all guilt.

Granted, I probably didn't need TWO pairs of shoes, but thanks to the Canadian Government depositing my GST rebate, I was able to eliminate all guilt conjured by the purchase of the second pair.

Instantly my spirits were lifted. What is it about a strappy pair of Mary Janes that can just make life seem worth living?? They were quite the find, actually, and after showing them off all night (they actually got as much show as The Dress!) I enshrined them on the top shelf of my closet, beside the Jackie O's and the open-toed pink heels. The top shelf of my closet is starting to look like my shoe hall of fame!

I took this quiz thing off someone else's blog... here are my results:

kiss my ass2
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm posting a countdown to Nicaragua! 9 days today... I can't wait!

Friday, January 06, 2006

Arrested Development and other randoms

Those who know me well know I do not watch much TV. My television doesn't even usually enjoy attention until I get home from work at 10:30pm and watch back to back re-runs of Frasier, (cancelled) one episode of The Wrong Coast (cancelled), and then it goes off again. I catch Family Guy (Recently UNcancelled) S&TC (cancelled) re-runs when I'm enjoying some wine, and Corner Gas (freakin' hilarious, for those who don't know it.)

And Arrested Development. This show is very high on my list. It's hilarious, smart and very glib. There were episodes I would watch once at 7 and again at 9 because I was laughing so hard I missed part of the show.

I read in the paper Arrested Development is in trouble again. Considering this show was critically acclaimed, for some reason people don't watch.

Is everyone too busy watching The Apprentice? America's Next Top Model? American Idol? How is it that these shows make it and something as good as Arrested Development struggles?

Himself nailed it, I think. He said, "It's too smart."

Whatever the reason, I'm using my little soapbox here to voice my concern. Write a letter. Email your desire to save the show to Americans - call 800-369-6848 and tell them you give a shit. Mail a banana to Peter Liguori, Marcy Ross, Gary Newman or Dana Walden at:
FOX Broadcasting
10201 West Pico Blvd.
Building 100, Room 4450
Los Angeles CA

Or, even more fun, send someone a postcard by going here

Postcards like this:

If you've ever laughed at my expense (as most people do...), just send one piddly little email. If you haven't, my archives are on the side. Surely I've made an ass of myself in some way that could amuse you, and then you could send an email to absolve your guilt for laughing at me.

Alright, I'll lighten up. Himself met Walter Gretzky yesterday! Apparently he came into the store and hung out for an hour just chatting with the staff, telling stories and things. He's an incredible guy - salt of the earth, encompassing everything it means to be Canadian.

And today, I am going to mail off my first novel query. Yes, I've decided to take Mending Resolute to the publishers. Don't worry, if you have a current subscription it will continue. Publishers can take 6 months to reply, and in the mean time, I owe it to you all to keep going. Thanks so much to those who have subscribed and kept subscribing. I would not be writing Linde's story right now if it wasn't for you.

I thought I said I was going to lighten up! Damn, sorry. Anyhow, everyone have a fantastic weekend!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

That poor kid.

The other day a co-worker was telling me about this video of a kid from Quebec floating around on the internet. He was playing around with a video camera and a broomstick and is a huge Star Wars fan and... well, you can probably figure out the rest.

I tried to ignore the desire to check it out ("Just Google 'Star Wars Kid'" he told me, which made it far too easy). Everyone else at work had seen it also, so I thought maybe it was one of those emails floating around the office.

I went to Google a few times and typed it in, but before I pressed "search", I would remember that if people worldwide had not done the same thing, this poor kid wouldn't have his video passed around the www.

Finally last night I mentioned it to Himself, expecting it to peak his curiosity and thereby nullify my feelings of guilt about wanting to see it. To my surprise, he said, "Yeah, I've seen that. It's hilarious."

Am I the only one in the WORLD who has not seen this?

"Yeah, I'll show you. I know exactly where it is," he tells me, leaving the couch and Arrested Development on DVD.

So much for the moral high ground. But really, who the #!$% do I think I am, Buddah? And so, I curled up cross-legged on the ugly-but-comfy rolly automan and watched the video online.

And almost fell off.

It wasn't so much the kid that was funny. I mean, it was, but who hasn't done something like that when no one else was around? It was the fact that all of these computer weirdos added in the noises and lights, as though his broomstick was a lightsabre!

I fell into hysterics. It got so bad that I couldn't even laugh anymore. I just sat there with my mouth wide open, no noise or breath coming out, and tears streaming down my cheeks. When I could actually extract speech, it was to mutter, "Oh my God, that poor kid," over and over.

If you have been apparently living in a barn under a cow like me and have not seen this, well, I'm not going to tell you where it is. If one person would not have done that, this poor kid's little rendition of what I'm guessing (from the way he uses both ends of the lightsabre) is Darth Maul would not be all over the internet, his parents wouldn't be suing and there might be a chance of him getting a date within the next 30 years.

Having said that, had you paid attention as you read, it should be pretty self-evident the way in which to go about viewing the aforementioned video.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Wink to 2005

Before I begin, I would like to point out that I have added two new links, as well as a guest map. So go stick your pin in my guest map. There is now a link to MJ's blog. Don't just sit there - click on it! I also added a link to the site I contract for - I write kid's mystery games for them, so go check me out there!

Well, it's officially 2006. How can one not get nostalgic, thinking of New Years parties of the past and what one has accomplished in the previous year?

Last year I made progress. I only held three jobs. Made 6 new friends, lost touch with 3 old. Watched one of my longest and dearest friends walk down the aisle, got teary when she delivered her speech.

I did something I swore I would never do, and feel good about it.

Drank some really good coffee.

I saw Pilate in concert, wore a yellow princess dress and pink, open-toed shoes. I spent five weeks on the ocean. Placed in a writing contest; saw one of my favourite stories between the covers of a book. Walked away from one opportunity only to trip over another.

Decided to grow out my hair. Realized it's not as curly as it used to be, but now has a natural, sexy wave.

Decided to be more sexy in general.

Wrote erotica. Read erotica. Cheered on a writing friend as she typed a fury of naughty sentences, and then had her work picked up. It's about time.

Discovered a new band I love.

Ended a relationship. Rekindled the same relationship.

Vowed to get back to the gym - tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.

Started running to combat recurring nightmares, realized the pain is bittersweet.

I felt powerful. I felt pathetic.

Decided to go to Cambodia. Decided to go to Nicaragua.

Came to terms with Linde's fate.

Tasted the raw twang of realizing something I always thought I wanted encompasses everything I despise. Celebrated fleeing, safe in the knowledge that I now know the truth, and also what I don't want to do in this life.

Gave Simone Byline a platform on which to rant.


2005 has been good to me. I will not hold my hopes high for 2006 - who knows what will happen. But with all the good things that have happened in 2005, I'm kind of glad to see it go. So, I flip my long(ish) wavy hair over my shoulder and wink at 2005. Thanks for the apartment.